Our Village: A Big Green Mass

The world is in constant chaos – you know that right?


No one’s where they’re meant to be, everyone’s late and there’s a ladybird on my chest. 


Trying to make sense of how it all works is really a rather futile game. It doesn’t matter if you’re the best, Oxford read philosopher or if you’re the Dalai Llama – this world is too complex for you to understand, so why try?


Even when you try and take it apart in little pieces, it refuses to be understood. Unfortunately, this is because the closer you look at smaller pieces, the more questions you are presented with. Take our little village, for example. The village is, arguably, much simpler to understand than a big city, like London. Look a little closer though and you might start to doubt that. Take the Village Hall, for example, where did that even come from?


Look closer. 


Those wooden planks that line the floor, as they have done for decades – where did they come from? Quite literally, where did they come from? What kind of tree? Where was it chopped down? Who cut it down? Who planted it? Who put it there? Are those people alive still? Where are their family? Do they live in the UK still? Or have they moved somewhere else?


That’s just the Village Hall. There are something like 30 buildings in Chipping Village. They weren’t all built at the same time – no. They were built at different times with different materials for different reasons.


It’s all too much. Just too much.

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Industrial Fans And Awful Solvents

Nowadays, when you hear the word “organic” you probably think of its positive side…


…it brings to mind healthy food, environmentally friendly clothes, and other kinds of natural sources without chemicals.


Unfortunately, this isn’t true at all – in fact organic and industrial organic solvents are considered carcinogenic by the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health. Alongside risks of developing cancer, these organic solvents may present other health hazards such as damage to reproduction, to the nervous system, respiratory illnesses, dermatitis and organ damage.


But, what is even more shocking than the terrible effects they can have on you are the sheer amount of them we face on a day to day basis, whether at work or at home. Solvents like benzene, acetone and ethanol are often found in seemingly harmless products such as glues, nail varnish removers, coolants and paint strippers.


It would be incredibly difficult to remove all such solvents from your home, so instead it is best to take other measures to protect your health.


vsa (1)


The most likely hazards coming from organic solvents are in their toxic fumes, and their flammable nature.


Whenever you have organic solvents in the house you ought to keep them safely far away from any sources of ignition, and keep ventilation at a maximum by using windows and fans. The fans in your bathroom and stove hood are very useful in this situation, and physical barriers like gloves and masks will help your skin from becoming irritated.


When large quantities of industrial organic solvents need to be used, the same rough precautions apply, although the safety risk is much greater. As an example, industrial solvents need to be grounded safely in order to prevent any errant sparks from setting the solvent alight. If there is a lot of electrical use in the area where the solvent needs to be used, they should be well-secured.


Often, welding or cutting (jobs which create heat or sparks) take place in areas of high solvent use, but in order to make the position safe for employees the owner must have the proper permits and remove all the solvents before properly ventilating the area.




Ventilation is one of the key steps for working safely with industrial organic fumes, as the fumes tend to be very toxic even if they are odourless. Industrial fans and extractor fans are often used to pull air away from the work space, removing fumes as they do so. In the case that employees need to handle industrial organic solvents regularly, fume extractors or hoods should be used, and all employees ought to be equipped with gear to protect their clothes and skin from the solvents.


Because of these great risks, a lot of companies have moved away from industrial solvents where another solution is available. Some providers offer different types of volatile organic compound products – things like hand-wiped, non-flammable aerosol cleaners, biodegradable products and environmentally friendly solvents – which don’t only protect employees but also the environment in the long run.


Whenever anyone handles industrial organic solvents or organic solvents, they ought to be incredibly careful. Preferably companies should switch to using more environmentally friendly solutions which are also less dangerous, but this isn’t a possibility in every job.

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Chipping Village Fete!

We are the masters of Fete’s here in Chipping Village!


And you better believe it because we believe it and that, frankly, makes it very very true.


You have to understand, readers, that every village is a little world into itself and what happens inside that world somewhat dictates what truth is inside that circle. We say things and if we all say things and we say them to each other again and again and again – they become true. True to us. True in the circle. True.


So if I say that Mrs Wilkinson’s cream buns are the most delicious in the world and everyone in the village says that and we all say it to each other all the time – then it becomes true.


If we say: ‘We are being desperately hurt by the E.U and must leave’ enough to each other and loud, loud, loud enough – then it becomes true, true, true. 



So yeah, we are having a Village Fete and yeah, it’s going to be the best village fete ever. It’s this Saturday the 14th so come down you fools!

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Does Chipping Need Someone To Set Up A Cleaning Business?

We all live here under the shadow of the great forest and we all have to deal with what that means.


What does that mean?


It means little wind. It means dark evenings. It means fresh, oh so clean air. It means people can go missing. It means we have to be careful. It means that we live on the edge of the forest where few go. The forest which holds the fear. The forest that matters.


The Forest of Bowland.




Fearful forest.


It also means that we are busy. Too busy! In between the birthday parties, the anniversary parties and the search parties, it’s hard to find time to do simple household chores. I was saying to Kathy next door just the other day:


‘You know I was supposed to spray the patio the other day but I had to pick up Charles from his football, then I was supposed to clean out the rabbits on Sunday but had to pick Suzie up from self-defence, then was going to try and get it done on Monday morning but they had that school bus go missing with the kids. It’s impossible!’.




Out Soon!


So, I personally have no time to clean bloody anything around the house, I think that its high time someone around Chipping Village set up some kind of cleaning business to take this stuff out of our hands.


I’ve been looking up tips on setting up a cleaning business and it doesn’t seem that bloody hard! So far in Chipping all we have is the home security place and the undertakers, I think the local economy could diversify a little!


So come on Chipping- any budding entrepreneurs out there?

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Living In the Forest Of Bowland (And Bowland Fell’s Park Beautiful Caravans!)

The Forest of Bowland is a sensational place, a quite glorious area of stunning natural beauty.


It is overwhelmingly poetic – the whole place.


Pure, long gorgeous spaces of gold and brown. Tall towers of light, penetrating the soil and heading to the sky, vibrating the brown earth and shaking us to our core. The turkeys, stalking the landscape with their round eyes surveying all lying in front of them, give the whole place a sense of true foreboding.





Fierce beasts.


The strange knocks in the night. The creaks and calls of the beasts and the birds, out in the deep darkness. Deep, inducing darkness. Deep, painful darkness. Deep, murderous darkness. Murdering unity, connection and safety. A darkness from which you may well never return or, at least, not return from the same…




It’s beautiful! Lovely!


I’m such a big fan of the Forest of Bowland that I live here and even when I go on holiday I stay inside the Forest of Bowland!


I go straight to Bowland Fell Park’s Yorkshire Caravans and just have a bloody good Bowland time. I wouldn’t leave Bowland, no way, no bloody way. There’s something so supple about the earth here, I just can’t bear to stand on any other earth. And when staying in a caravan you get a true sense of what it would have been like to be one of the first people to enter these incredible lands and make their base here. To truly aim to strive and succeed  in this most beautiful of places.




The most beautiful place in the world…

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“While spending the Christmas time of 1085 in Gloucester, William had deep speech with his counsellors and sent men all over England to each shire to find out what or how much each landholder had in land and livestock and what it was worth.”


The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, Circa 1086




This is how the beginning of work on the Doomsday Book was documented at the time.


It was a tax register. It was in fact a very important stage in the construction of the modern state.


It was William the Conqueror who ordered the survey so that he could collect taxes that were owed to the previous King, but it is thought that the book was actually compiled by his successor William II (William Rufus or William The Red). They went across the land collecting information for their Doomsday Book. Doom in this sense and at this time did not have any of its modern meanings of danger and death, it simply referred to the day of judgement in the Bible, where all information about everyone was laid bare.


That is what the book attempted to do: to gather the information about every one. These are the earliest extensive written records of Britain and its populace and settlements.


Chipping Village is mentioned in the Doomsday Book…

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